


It Wasn't Supposed to be You

by Akiko_Natsuko



Series: Gratsu [78]
Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alvarez Teikoku Hen | Alvarez Empire Arc (Fairy Tail), Broken Promises, Character Death, Death, Emotional Hurt, Grief/Mourning, Heavy Angst, Hurt No Comfort, Loss, M/M, NSFM, Promises, Protectiveness, Sacrifice, Self-Sacrifice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-17
Updated: 2020-07-17
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:48:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25321162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akiko_Natsuko/pseuds/Akiko_Natsuko
Summary: “I wonder.” The menace was gone, back to the earlier curiosity as Zeref looked between the two of them, still smiling as he circled a little to the right with Gray mirroring him. Not about to give him another chance to get too close to Natsu. “How far would you go to protect the one thing you swore to destroy?” Gray flinched at the words but didn’t falter, even as he heard Natsu’s strangled gasp. I promised to destroy E.N.D., and right now you’re not E.N.D., and I won’t let you become him, so we will never have to cross that bridge, he promised silently, hands balled at his sides.
Relationships: Natsu Dragneel/Gray Fullbuster
Series: Gratsu [78]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1188718
Comments: 4
Kudos: 40
Collections: Gratsu Week 2020





	It Wasn't Supposed to be You

**Author's Note:**

> Please note that if you want to talk to me about my fics and writing, or anime/shows/games in general then you can now find me on discord [The Unholy Trinity](https://discord.gg/6sSddAWa5c).

Gray hadn’t been able to tear his thoughts away from the fact that Natsu the idiot had gone off on his own to face Zeref. He couldn’t lie and say it had nothing to do with his personal goals, with the promise he had made his father, or the demon that he had spent over a year now searching for, but those worries paled next to his concern for his idiotic boyfriend. Part of him was hurt that Natsu had left him behind…again, the year apart after Tartarus still a fresh enough wound to sting at this fresh decision. But it didn’t stop the fear, the cold kernel of dread that had taken root in the pit of his stomach once they’d realised what Natsu was doing, and he hadn’t been lying when he’d told Erza that he did have faith in Natsu, that he was just worried about him, and that was the problem. He was concerned, to the point where he couldn’t forget about it or even push it to the back of his mind and focus on his own fights, and it was because he believed in Natsu that he was so worried.

He knew how far Natsu would go to win this fight, to protect Fairy Tail, and to protect him.

And it terrified him.

“Gray!” Juvia’s shout dragged him back to the present, and he brought his arms up braced for an attack, only to find that he could move, pinned by the eye in the sky. It was huge, too huge just to be focused on him and yet he felt as though it’s gaze was focused on him alone. _What the…?_ He barely had time to register the feeling or what he was seeing before the world shifted, colours and shapes blurring in a disorienting swirl, leaving him feeling sick to the stomach and stumbling, as abruptly the movement ceased.

He toppled forward from the same patch of grass he had been stood on, onto ground that was recently scorched, the soil beneath his hands still hot to the touch, and he could see embers nearby. _Natsu._ Forgetting the eye and the strange movement, he scrambled to his feet, swaying and cursing, looking around for the Dragon-slayer. “Na…” His voice trailed off as he spied the subject of his search, heart in his throat as for a terrible moment he thought that he was already too late. Natsu looked dead, his skin bleached of all colour, leaving the damage that he had suffered to stand out vividly against his skin, injuries that no one not even Natsu could survive, and there was a denial on his tongue when the Dragon-slayer stirred. Not enough to combat the terror rising in the Ice Mage’s chest, but enough to reassure him that Natsu was still with him for now and ignoring the lingering shakiness in his legs he started to move towards him when there was a sharp cough from behind him.

The air around him turned Baltic ice forming on the ground beneath his feet as the markings of his slayer magic crept up his arms as he whirled towards the sound and froze.

Zeref.

The other man was stood behind him, smiling as though this was just a normal day. As though Natsu was lying behind Gray, injured… _dying,_ his mind unhelpfully corrected. Zeref wasn’t untouched Gray noticed, feeling a strange pride mixing in with everything else churning in his chest, although even as he watched, he could see that the damage was healing. Washing away, while Natsu suffered… A growl that sounded far too similar to what Natsu would do when he was furious rose in his throat as he stared at Zeref, even as his mind raced, a dozen thoughts darting through it like quicksilver. _How was he here? Why had he been brought here? Where was Happy? How the hell was he getting Natsu out of this?_ He didn’t even falter when he realised that he’d already moved to the realisation that only one of them was getting out of this. Shifting to make sure that he was directly between the Dragon-slayer and Zeref, not liking the amusement that greeted his action, before Zeref’s attention was caught by movement beyond them.

“Let’s make this a little more private, shall we?” Zeref asked, lifting his hands and Gray braced himself for an attack, but the magic that flowed out seemed to flow past him harmlessly, and a quick glance at Natsu showed that he seemed untouched too. It was the rest of the world that had been affected, he realised belatedly. It was as though someone had brought a glass bowl down over them. Leaving them separate from the rest of the world which had been bleached of its colour and vitality, and what Gray could now make out as soldiers, and the blur of Happy in the air had slowed to what appeared to be a standstill, and his heart sank. All that with a simple gesture? How the hell was he getting Natsu out of there?

“Why did you bring me here?” He demanded, more trying to buy himself time to work out what to do than any real interest, and he had a feeling that Zeref wasn’t fooled as the other man smiled.

“My little brother asked for you,” Zeref replied, gesturing in Natsu’s direction and Gray tensed at the motion, and then the words registered. _What?_ “Cried out for you just before he lost consciousness, and I will admit I was curious to find out who Natsu had filled his heart with.” Zeref’s gaze was assessing as he studied Gray, head tilted, as though he was trying to work out a puzzle. “I wasn’t expecting it to be you though after our last encounter…”

Tartarus. Back when he had been arguing with Natsu about what to do with the book of E.N.D., only for it to be stolen away from both of them by the man in front of them. He had never seen the Dragon-slayer so angry with him before and having it bought up now made him uneasy.

“Sorry to disappoint,” he spat. It had been one thing for their friends and guild to be surprised when they had finally buried their rivalry and admitted to the fact that they were more than friends, he didn’t want to hear it from this man, especially not after everything that had happened to both of them because of Zeref and his work. “And what do you mean little brother?” Zeref laughed then, a mild chuckle that would have sounded pleasant if Gray had been able to forget what the man was capable of, reminded of it a second later when Zeref gestured and disappeared, and Gray immediately turned to Natsu, just to see Zeref reappear and crouch beside the Dragon-slayer. Reaching out to touch the pink hair, brushing it away from Natsu’s face in a grim mockery of a gentle touch.

“Can’t you see the resemblance?”

“Stop messing around,” Gray snarled, itching at seeing Zeref so close, especially as Natsu appeared oblivious to the threat. _He’s too close, he could take Natsu out before I even started to move,_ Gray couldn’t breathe at the realisation, especially as Zeref’s fingers slipped to a bloodied cheek, stroking it lightly and taking delight in the Ice Mage’s obvious distress.

“Oh, but I’m not,” Zeref patted Natsu on the cheek, eliciting a soft groan from the Dragon-slayer before he straightened, standing tall above the Fire Mage. “Did you know that before all this,” he gestured at himself, at the destruction around them, the soldiers that Gray realised now were part of his army. “I was a child, born to a loving family. The oldest Dragneel child – Zeref Dragneel, big brother to one…”

“Natsu Dragneel…” Gray whispered, feeling sick again. It wasn’t possible, and yet there was no lie in the dark eyes watching his every reaction with amusement, and why would Zeref lie about this? But that wasn’t possible. Zeref had been around for far too long, and Natsu was his age. “But…”

“Are you going to tell me that’s impossible?” Zeref asked. “Surely, you realise that with magic that anything is possible. At least that was what I believed when I was a boy, and I came home to find that my family – my mother and father, my little brother had been killed while I was at school.” Gray was aware that he was shaking now, not sure whether it was fear and dread, or anger. _What are you saying?_ There was a truth in this story, in these words, he could feel it down to his bones, just as he knew that he didn’t want to hear it. That there was nothing but pain to be found, and yet he couldn’t do anything while Zeref was so close to Natsu. At least while he was talking, he wasn’t hurting the Dragon-slayer. “I searched and searched, experimented with magics that no one else would touch. I destroyed myself all for the chance to bring Natsu back to life, my demons were a stepping block…and the Etherious was my crowning achievement. My success. My victory over life, even as I was cursed for it.”

_Etherious…_

_…Demons…_

_E.N.D…_

“No…” Gray whispered before he could stop himself, shaking his head, as his mind made a connection, he didn’t want it too. _That’s not possible, not Natsu…_

“He was slower on the uptake,” Zeref nudged Natsu with his foot, and despite the terrible realisation taking root, Gray snarled at the action. “Refused to believe me, until I proved it without a doubt.” A blur of movement and the book of E.N.D. was in his hand, and Gray’s fingers twitched, his goal so close now. His promise to his father ringing through his mind, but he couldn’t move, could barely breathe. _No, don’t show me. Don’t convince me._ He might as well have been pleading with the world to stop turning, because Zeref turned the book, letting him see the damage that hadn’t been there the last time he had seen it. Without any urging, already knowing what he would find Gray looked at Natsu, at the similar wound on his chest, and thought that he might throw up there and then, shaking his head in a desperate denial that was greeted by a smile. “Perhaps a demonstration.”

“No!” It was too late, the book lifted into the air, spinning slowly before a bolt of energy tore through it, a second hole blasted through leather and parchment. Gray barely noticed the damage to the book, because Natsu was awake now, crying out in pain, rolling onto his side, facing Gray and allowing the Ice Mage to see the fresh wound that had been torn through his side.”

There was no stopping the magic that exploded out him at that moment. It was channelled by pure emotion, and in that instance, it didn’t matter who or what Natsu might be. It didn’t matter that the Book of E.N.D. had disappeared from sight the moment that Zeref had made his point. All Gray could see was Natsu hurting, pain and fear, and something raw and painful spreading across the Dragon-slayer’s face as their gazes met in the split-second before ice filled their bubble. It shot across the ground, tearing through the soil, freezing solid the last of the lingering embers, covering the entire space they were trapped in with tendrils of frost. Jagged lances erupted as it roared towards Zeref, and Gray was waiting for him to block it, to destroy the ice as it surged towards him, but instead, Zeref moved, out of its path and more importantly away from Natsu.

The ice was still settling, a much too small barrier between Natsu and… Zeref. Gray refused to call him anything else, refused to think about what he had been told, the questions and realisations gripping him as he bolted towards the Dragon-slayer. Throwing ice and scorched earth as he dropped to his knees beside Natsu, reaching for him and then faltering, not wanting to cause him more pain. Natsu didn’t have that hesitation, reaching for him and latching onto his hands with a painful grip. “Gray…” It was clear that even that much hurt him, but before Gray could tell him to shush, he was continuing in such a raw voice that the Ice Mage had to fall silent to listen to him, heart aching with each word. “Gray…Sorry…Sorry…” Apologising – not for taking off on his own - but for this. For what Zeref had told him, the truth of what he was. Gray could see the shadow in his eyes, the expectation, and he was torn between anger and anguish that Natsu thought for a moment that he would, that he could…

_But he is E.N. D…. Etherious…Etherious Natsu Dragneel._

“It doesn’t matter,” Gray murmured, not sure if he was soothing Natsu or arguing against the treacherous voice in the back of his mind. “You’re Natsu,” he added, squeezing Natsu’s hand, and tears welled in the corners of the Dragon-slayer’s eyes, gratitude and relief, and fear.

“G-Go…” Natsu pleaded, and it took a moment for Gray to realise what Natsu was telling him to do.

“I’m not going anywhere,” he snarled, and this time anger was dominant. As though he would leave Natsu now, even if the idiot hadn’t been hurt, and Gray was trying not to think about how deep the damage might go – he wouldn’t have left him behind. Natsu opened his mouth, clearly about to protest. His current state apparently doing nothing for his stubbornness, but then his attention was caught by something behind Gray, and the Ice Mage squeezed his hand, before turning so that he could see Zeref, not liking the expression on his face as he watched the pair of them.

“You’re not going anywhere?” Zeref echoed, mocking and Gray scowled at him. Those words were for Natsu, not for this man determined to destroy everything they were had loved. “Strange words for someone who has spent the last year looking for E.N.D., even going so far as to join Avatar…”

“You knew about that?”

“Such stories usually reach my ear at some point,” Zeref shrugged. “Usually I pay them no mind. After all, my name has been used by many over the years. But, a Fairy Tail mage joining a group that worshipped me? Hunting for one of my demons.” Gray bristled at the possessive ‘my’ and the way Zeref’s eyes shifted to Natsu, but he didn’t speak. “That piqued my interest, and I remembered the name… and to hear it come from my little brother’s mouth, well that was too interesting to ignore.”

“Don’t call him that,” Gray snarled, feeling Natsu flinching at what Zeref was saying. _He really is related to Zeref, he is an…Etherious…he is E.N.D._ “His name is Natsu.” _My Natsu,_ he thought, squeezing the Dragon-slayer’s hand again, although he didn’t let his gaze waver from Zeref, catching the anger that flickered in dark eyes for a moment, and the surge of magic pressure in the air.

“For now.”

Two words shouldn’t have been able to carry such menace, but something in Gray quivered at the threat in them, knowing exactly what Zeref was implying. _I can release E.N.D. in an instance, I can steal Natsu away, make him something else._

Gray was on his feet before he was aware of what he was doing, his fury greater than his fear, as he glanced at Natsu and saw the same horrified realisation on his boyfriend’s face. “That’s not going to happen,” he said, and he let the markings spread a little further, slipping a little further into his magic. As unmoving and impenetrable as ice as he stared down Zeref, who dared to smile.

“I wonder.” The menace was gone, back to the earlier curiosity as Zeref looked between the two of them, still smiling as he circled a little to the right with Gray mirroring him. Not about to give him another chance to get too close to Natsu. “How far would you go to protect the one thing you swore to destroy?” Gray flinched at the words but didn’t falter, even as he heard Natsu’s strangled gasp. _I promised to destroy E.N.D., and right now you’re not E.N.D., and I won’t let you become him, so we will never have to cross that bridge,_ he promised silently, hands balled at his sides.

“I’m ready to die if necessary,” Gray said, utterly calm on the outside even though inside his heart was in tatters, especially as he heard Natsu’s strangled gasp become a stream of whispered protests, hearing the Dragon-slayer trying to get to his feet.

_I’m sorry, Natsu._

_I’m sorry, Dad._

Pressure was gathering in the air, a darkness gathering around Zeref and he tensed. _Natsu…_ He let his own magic gather, pooling in his fingertips, reading to be released at the last moment. A last desperate attempt to protect the Dragon-slayer behind him, his heart twisting as he heard Natsu saying his name, pleading with him to run, to stop this, to live.

_I’m sorry…_

Zeref’s smile had turned cruel. “Shall we test that?” He asked, as he swept both of his arms together in a circular motion, as he brought his hands around in front of himself, the bottom of each palm touching the others, fingers extended in a deliberate pattern, as his gaze moved past Gray to Natsu. “Repent...” His voice had dropped to a whisper, as the darkness had been gathered erupted skywards in a vertical blast, that spread out and out. Moving towards Gray with the inevitably of a tsunami and he tensed, fighting the urge to flee, trying to hold his magic for the perfect second to protect Natsu. _Please, please let it be enough. I don’t care what happens to me…_

Something soft and warm settled over his neck, just as he was about to release his magic a weight colliding with his back and forcing him forward. Startled, he lost his grasp on his magic ice flaring around him as he stumbled to his knee, and right into the blast. He could smell death on the wind, feel in the cold that washed over him as the darkness whirled around him, pressed in close, caressing his skin and then dissipating without harm. He couldn’t breathe, practically choking on the magic, but he was alive. _What?_ He looked towards Zeref as the last of the blast vanished, meeting wide eyes for a second before the man looked behind him, and Gray’s heart sank like a stone as he turned a flash of black catching his attention, hand reaching up instinctively.

It closed on cloth.

_Natsu’s scarf…_ It was blackened, as though it had been dunked in a vat of dye for hours and hours, but Gray had seen it too many times to mistake it for what he was, and he whirled. “Natsu…” The Dragon-slayer’s name on his tongue and he’d meant for it to be a shout, but it came out as a strangled whisper as he watched Natsu – who had clearly forced himself to his feet at the last moment, topple backwards in slow motion, the smile on his lips at odds with the light leaving his eyes as he fell. The sound of Natsu’s body hitting the ground, spurred him to motion, two stumbling steps and he was back at his side, and falling to his knees in the remnants of ice which lay splintered and broken, echoing the sensation in his chest as he reached out to lay a trembling hand on Natsu’s chest. “Natsu?” He choked on the word, a sob trying to fight its way free. “Natsu? Natsu?!” He was shaking the Dragon-slayer now, trying to elicit a response, even as in the back of his mind he registered the lack of movement beneath his hand, desperation clawing at him. “Natsu! Stop this it isn’t funny…”

 _It’s not supposed to be like this. It wasn’t supposed to be you._ There were so many words he wanted to say, but they were trapped behind the pressure building in his throat, and all he could say was Natsu’s name, over and over, as though if he said it just one more time the Dragon-slayer would stir. He stared at the pale face, ignored the empty eyes and instead at the smile – contentment shining through the pain and terror of that final moment, and he wanted to scream at him. _I was ready to die; it wasn’t supposed to be you…_ The scarf around his neck felt like a chain, threatening to crush him beneath its weight, but he couldn’t bring himself to remove it, to touch it, to even look at it again.

He didn’t know if Zeref was watching, drinking in the sight of what he’d done. He didn’t care. At that moment, he wasn’t sure that he would or could do something if the other man tried to finish what he’d started. He couldn’t even tear his gaze away from Natsu long enough to look behind him. “Natsu,” he whispered instead, trying a softer approach. Maybe Natsu was just being stubborn? Punishing him for not listening to his protests and pleas earlier? Yes, that had to be it. That… “Natsu…” Nothing. Natsu’s face remained unchanged, his chest unmoving, and Gray’s gaze slipped higher without it meaning too, and his breath caught, and the pressure in his chest and throat was unbearable as he was transfixed by the hauntingly empty gaze. Absent of fire and laughter, of pain or fear… empty of everything that had made Natsu who he was one.

Devoid of life.


End file.
